I am sure you have all heard the terrible news about Chelsea King, the 17-year-old girl from California who went for a run after school and never came back. My heart goes out to Chelsea's parents. As a parent, this has to be the most devastating inconceivable thing in the world. Reports say that Chelsea apparently ran into John Albert Gardner, a repeat sex offender. How does this happen? The man has raped and molested before. Why is he allowed in our society? What has to be done to make certain that these monsters cannot do these awful things again? Obviously nothing is being done now. In any given area of the country if you look on the local sex offender list, you will find many registered sex offenders living nearby. In your neighborhood, all neighborhoods. How scary is that? These people are out there on the prowl looking for their prey. How can we feel safe letting our children out? Letting our teenagers be teenagers?
What can we do as parents? Chelsea King liked to go running. Her parents did not like her running alone and preferred she run with another person. Chelsea, being a teenager, did as she felt not realizing the dangers that are out there. How are we supposed to educate our kids to understand these dangers? Unfortunately we cannot keep them locked up in the house (although I would like to). They have to live their lives. We cannot be with them every moment of the day. We can explain to them all we want about the dangers, but how do we make them understand? How do we keep them safe?
Growing up I remember my parents using 'scare tactics' to teach me. I was pretty much petrified and really never went anywhere by myself. Still, to this day I am very aware of where I go and who I am with. How do you teach your kids about people like this?
Why are repeat sex offenders in our neighborhoods?
Posted by Dalia (Generation X Mom) Labels: sex offenders, teens
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It is so scary! I don't mess around with my girls. I give it to them straight and I don't mind scaring them at all. I WANT them to be afraid enough to make sure they aren't alone. My oldest calls me from school if she can't walk home with friends. We talked about Clelsea King and we've watched documentaries about online saftey and how little information it takes for someone to locate you.
So sad, but a reality. I can't even imagine what you ladies go through as mothers in this crazy world. I know I will be a total nervous nelly. It's sucks to see those creepy lists but yeah, you have to see them...knowledge is power! And I totally agree with Angelia's comment...I would do EVERYTHING she does!
Oh and I am following you now!
http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/
I was afraid (still am) and kept a safe distance from anyone I didn't know. I think it's okay to be wary as long as it doesn't cause an unhealthy condition like anxiety.
Unless we're going to become a society where we execute sex offenders, we'll have to find a way to let them live among us. Castration anyone?
From SITS! Hey, I was going to tell you to make sure that you put the actual URL in the website part. That may be what it is. I was having that same problem.
ANYWAY, I ended up reading some of your blog, and I am so with you about this sex offender thing! It makes me SO angry. My 15 year old daughter has been begging me to let her run alone in the mornings. I have told her no, and she can run with her dad, but, of course she doesn't want to do that. It makes me sick that I can't let her do this good thing for herself because of the crazies out there, especially the ones we already KNOW are crazy! I wish someone could explain the logic!
Anyway, I will be following you now! Hope the comluv thing starts working!
Andria
http://readingteen.blogspot.com/
www.ParentalBookReviews.com
I tell them the truth, in ways they can handle it and always, always use the buddy system. It's been ingrained in them for years so they know that I won't allow any activity without them having a buddy along. Like I said, I don't want to traumatize them about the reality of this dangerous element in society but they do need to be educated and safe.
About commentluv, make sure your feed is working correctly. that was the trouble I had.
Not to make light of the serious subject, but I have to tell you-You have an award over on my blog :)
This is such a horrible story. My mom definitely used scare tactics on me and now I have OCD about leaving the house. Anyway, I hope this guy gets put away for good and this is a lesson to revise these freaking laws.
- Cougs @ www.cougar-tales.blogspot.com
I couldn't agree with you more! I used that website where you can put in your own address and then be shown all the registered sex offenders in your area...I was FLOORED that there is one (convicted of luring children and molestation) .7 miles from my house! And I live LITERALLY 2 blocks from an elementary school. REALLY?! I thought there were laws that said convicted child molesters couldn't live within so many miles of schools? It makes me sick..oh, and another tidbit of info...my district is a non-bussing district which means all those little kids walking to school in grades kindergarten up to 6th grade are easy prey for a man already convicted of luring children...
Part of the problem is that they registry system is a joke. Offenders are often lost track of when they move. And? Some of those "offenders" are really 18-19 year old guys who were stupid enough to date 15-16 year old girls. Wrong and possibly skeevy? Yes.
The same thing as assaulting someone, or molesting a child? Not in my humble opinion.
Right now, my kids are young enough that we're focusing on basic stranger-danger tips. Don't go anywhere with anyone other than someone on our list(mommy, daddy, and a couple of relatives that are on the safe list)
If someone other than mommy, daddy or grandma(we made these exceptions because of bath times, and cleaning up after the occasional accident) does ANYTHING with your "bathing suit areas"(gives a reference point for what areas are personal), you need to tell a grown-up (teacher, mommy, daddy or grandma), etc
You bring up some very compelling questions. In my opinion, we can only do our best to teach our children how to avoid these types of people and be as safe as possible. Yes, sex offenders are nearby in our neighborhoods but they are also part of our families and social circles, although we often don't know it. Unfortunately, I know this from experience. My mother was very protective and made sure we knew about the dangers in the world, and in the end the danger was in our own house. Sex offenders are successful in their attacks not because people aren't careful and not even because of how our legal system is set up (although there are definite problems there) - they are successful because they know how to isolate, manipulate, and surprise their victims. After all, most victims of sexual assault know their abuser prior to the incident.
As far as why they are in our neighborhoods...that has to do with our legal system and the idea that criminals are rehabilitated or paying their dues through jail or prison. While many are of the opinion that sex offenders should have having a black mark on their record and be separated from society for the rest of their lives, that is not how the legal system sees it. I agree that the current system doesn't work, but so far I haven't heard of a better alternative. Until there is something better, it seems our government is going to stick with what it has.
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