Do you remember "going out" or "going steady". There were a lot of different terms for what we called "puppy love" or having a crush on someone back at age eleven or so. Now that my kids are in the midst of this age I realize how much this has changed. Kids this age are actually "dating". They are holding hands, kissing, alienating themselves at lunch, and going on actual dates. Now hold on a minute, when we were "going out" back in 5th or 6th grade it was really just a term for "I like him and he likes me". Never at eleven did we actually touch or really do much talking at all! He was a "boyfriend", if you want to call it that.
There used to be a difference between "going out" and "dating". Dating was when you were older and you actually went on "dates". But, kids are doing this now at age eleven. My son has a friend whose mother dropped him and his "girlfriend" off at the movies for a date (at age eleven). My son, at age eleven, never even went to the movies alone with friends let alone with a girlfriend. These kids are buying their girlfriends gifts for holidays and birthdays and actually hanging out at each other's houses alone without other friends. Isn't that just a little too serious for the age of eleven?
Am I just over thinking all of this because I don't want to see my kids grow up too fast, or IS this too young for dating?
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17 opinions:
I'm a much more laid-back parent than most, but I think 11 is too young for dating. I can see a group date starting around age 13, but I would pick up and drop off rather than allow my child to drive away with someone. Real dating will be for the 15-16 range. That's the plan anyway.
Eleven is too young - even to have your "boyfriend/girlfriend" over to your house. I'm good with house & group "dates" around 13.
Just this past weekend my my step-son's sister teased him out about going on a date with him.
Apparently he asked his mom if him and his girlfriend could go to a movie and she said she would take them, but her and his sister would be sitting right behind them.Lol...
Needless to say my 9 year old step-daughter got a kick out of it and proceeded to rag him about going on a "double date" with their mom.
I applaud her :) great parenting.
My parents did not allow me to go on a date until I was 16 despite the fact that all my friends were dating long before that, and I do remember some of the girls and boys at my junior school were dating at 11 and this was over 30 years ago. I really don't understand how any parent can be comfortable with an 11 year old going on a proper, unsupervised date. I agree with Kelly and My Momma Drama that 13 for a group date but no real dating until 15 or 16.
When I was in kindergarten, there was a boyfriend/girlfriend couple that kissed (a peck) on top of a picnic table at recess. I don't know if parents were there or the teachers said something. I'll never forget that the little girl's mother was really happy and my own mother was horrified.
I think different parents will even encourage their children pairing up at a young age. It's disturbing.
11 is WAY too young for dating in my opinion. Kids these days are doing everything way too young.
I'm going to be nervous when my future kids get older.
It IS too young for dating. Period. I had to be 16 and by golly, my kids'll be lucky to do it that early. Seriously, 11? Ridiculous.
My son is only 19 months old....
I don't look forward to that. 11 is too young. They should be kids for longer!!!
Emilia
Fun Playroom
My Mom didn't let me date until I was 16. As much as I thought it sucked back then, I look back and see how many of the kids I went to school with were "dating" in 6th grade, and then having sex by the end of Middle School, and pregnant in High School.
My Aunt let my cousin "date" when she was 10/11, and her "boyfriend" was posting comments about doing inappropriate things to her on Myspace. Now she is in 9th grade, has had sex with at least 4 people and has Herpes. And who knows how much "other stuff" she has done that wasn't "actually" sex.
Someone please close my mouth because my jaw is hanging open. Yes, I think it is too young! I remember girls "going" with boys at 10 an 11 which basically meant that they sat together at lunch and on the bus. What an innocent time that seems. This scares me because kids just seem to be growing up so much faster. My kindergartener says things that just astound me -- I'm in terror of 5th grade! I guess my kids aren't going to like me very much!
:-)
Traci
P.S. There is an award for blogs I have recently found and love waiting for you at my place. Please drop by when you have a chance.
:-)
Traci
38andgrowing.blogspot.com
I too feel like I am a laid-back mom, but I am still the parent and there is NO WAY my son will be initiating any dating before he is 16!! In fact, I would like to keep him locked up until he is 30...Is that possible??? Love you blog, I am a new reader =) Denice
You aren't overthinking it. Eleven is waaaay too young!
Horrifyingly too young.
It breaks my heart to see kids growing up so fast, in ways they cannot possibly be mature enough to comprehend.
Way too young. Never underestimate young love.
11 is way too young. You don't know everything about yourself at that age, much less the opposite sex. How can an 11 year old be a boyfriend? He can't. a girl can't be a girlfriend. They simply don't have the capacity I think. I mean, even at 13, parents have to drive them, pay for the date. It's not REALLY a date. I have to be honest, at 11 I don't even know if I paid attention to boys enough to have a boyfriend!
My youngest had a "boyfriend" in elemetary school but it consisted of sitting together at school & going to each others birthday parties. Though our oldest pretty much blew any concept of rules out of the water our general rule is 13& 14 is Ok for group trips to movies etc. No riding in cars with friends driving at all till 15 & car dating at 16.
Heck yeah it's too young. My kids will be lucky if I let them date at 16. They certainly won't be dating alone at 16. They will be with another "couple" or with a group. Just as I did when I was a teenager.
Teens have no business being alone with their boyfriend or girlfriend. All those raging hormones and their poor decision making and lack of understanding of consequences. No way, no how.
I know I'm probably more old-fashioned than most, but I never felt like I was missing out on anything when I was teen. I have great memories of my boyfriend and I being with a group of friends.
Going on a date as just a couple when you're a teenager seems way too serious to me. Save the serious relationship stuff for adulthood.
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