I do not remember giving my teacher gifts back when I was in school. I don't remember it being a big thing at all. I do not remember really anyone giving the teacher gifts, or at least I didn't notice. Today, it is a way different story. These teachers are making out pretty good. My kid's teachers are part of my Christmas shopping list! Kid's are giving their teachers gifts for every holiday, teacher appreciation days, and the last day of school. And, it doesn't stop at the teachers. We have bus drivers, aides, and coaches just to name a few more. When did teacher's gifts become more than a handmade card or a small token of appreciation from a student? Nowadays they are getting gifts that I would give my own family. They rack in hundreds of dollars in gift certificates throughout the year, handbags, and even jewelry. It is unfortunate that teacher gift giving has become competitive and in some schools simply expected.
Is it right for parents to be doing this? Is it really necessary? Do you think that teachers should make it known ahead of time that they do not want large extravagant gifts?
Do you think teacher's gifts have gotten out of hand?
Posted by Dalia (Generation X Mom) Labels: parenting
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14 opinions:
When I was in high school I used to buy my band teacher gifts, out if my own money when I had a job, just because we were so close and she was an important influence in mu life. We all used to call her mom because she was some1 we could talk to and count on. She even came to my wedding. She is the only teacher I ever bought gifts for. She was such a good person she even adopted one of my classmates after his gram died and there was no one left to take care of him.
I'm not big on teacher's gifts. Not because I don't want to or think they don't deserve them, but I have 5 kids to buy presents for. My hubby and I have only been able to purchase presents for each other 1 year out of the 5 we've spent together. We do make something for them though - my daughter and I. Hopefully they appreciate those among all the store bought ones!
I'm in my 30's and we always gave teachers gifts at Christmas and end of year. We'd do candy or a card at the other holidays. A lot of my family are teachers including my mom and after seeing some of the things they go through and deal with, I'm very supportive of rewarding them with a thoughtful gift of thanks. I don't make much money so I usually just make homemade gifts like bread, or necklaces, or something of that sort, I don't think it's about spendinga bunch of money or going all out, but something that tells them I appreciate what they do.
I'm supposed to be giving teacher's gifts?? Oh, I have so much to learn. Thank goodness you're here to keep me up to speed!
When I was a kid I might cut a flower out of my Mom's garden to give to my teacher, but that was about it. I know teachers have to provide a lot of their own things for their classroom, but we also have to provide a lot of school supplies, like 2 reams of papers, dry erase markers and sticky notes for the teachers.
I think the gift giving is getting out of hand, and we don't give my SS's teacher gifts. Maybe if it was someone who was really special or we became close with it would be different. As it is, I haven't thought he has had any stellar teachers.
So far I only have experience with pre-school, but it is the same story. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines, Birthdays, Easter.....you name it and we are expected to provide a gift for the teacher. I do know that the teachers at my daughter's school are paid a pittance. One of her two teachers recently left to take up a position as a Nanny. When I asked her why she was leaving she told me straight out it was for financial reasons and that the Nanny job paid much better money. However, like you I do object to the blatant requests for gifts as opposed to just a card and a home made present or something like that. Instead, the room Mom sends us instructions requesting our money to buy store gift cards, which I feel is rude and also so impersonal - how can your child feel they are contributing when all that is given is an envelope with a Target gift card in it?
In England teachers do not expect and do not get gifts at holiday times. I think this is a much better system.
Oh..my..goodness..I know! My oldest just started Kindergarten and I really felt like I had to get everyone and their mother gifts for Christmas! It was adsolutely absurd!
Yes, where I live it is completely out of control. Small gifts are one thing but it was up to fancy spa and restaurant certificates. Giving is a good thing to teach when the kids are little but I was So relieved when it was less expected in middle school where they have at least 6 teachers.
My parents always got a small gift for me to give to my teacher each year of elementary school (very small). I'll never forget my second grade teacher was all about the free stuff. She'd pick things out of our lunches! I'm pretty annoyed by it as a mom. Julia has had all of these preschool teachers and speech therapists - I could spend a small fortune. I just gave fudge and got dollar store mugs to put it in. I'll not be peer pressured into anything!
As a teacher, I can tell you that you can only stand so many candles or mugs or bath salts. The thought is sweet though, especially when it comes from smiling students. Gifts are not expected at our school, and in fact are discouraged. But, if your child wants to give a gift to teacher, make it something disposable...like chocolate. But, nothing expensive. A candy bar and a homemade card done by the child will suffice. The gift I remember getting most was from a poor girl who had wrapped it in newspaper. It was one of those tiny plastic capsules that a toy comes in from a machine. Inside was a thumb-sized picture of Brittney Spears (her favorite singer) cut out of a magazine. It was priceless.
We try to give gifts, but we only have two teachers per kid. We don't do money, but do like to give teaching supplies. My theory is that teachers are using their own money to buy supplies, so I'll buy them and the teachers can keep their money. Also, who doesn't love school supply shopping?
To personalize the gift, I help the kids create cards or write letters to accompany the supplies. It's the best of both worlds, but not mandatory.
I've never gotten gifts for my kids' teachers. If other kids' parents are doing it at my kids' schools, I'm not aware of it. My daughter has written nice notes for her teachers, which I think is more special, but that's about it.
ABSOLUTELY teachers and ALL staff at schools should let students AND parents know that gifts of any kind are neither expected nor necessary. It's lovely to be thought of, but truly - many people cannot afford the lavishness that goes into some of the gift-giving. If you are just compelled to give gifts, most teachers appreciate school supplies for the class (stock up on lined paper when it's on sale before school starts. pencils. crayons. etc.) and a gift of TIME. Can you volunteer an hour or so, in any grade, to help kids read? Homemade gifts are also perfectly acceptable - I used to make white chocolate party mix and put it in an inexpensive tin (dollar store). Yes, gift-giving is out of hand. How about a nice note telling the teacher what has been good about this school year - how little Jane has grown/learned/etc.?
There are a LOT of teachers in my family and circle of friends and I can tell you for a fact that a good deal of the things they get (i.e. candles, chocolates, nicknacks) from students is re-gifted.
People definitely go overboard - as they do with most things nowadays it seems. I think a simple 5 dollar gift card and a note of gratitude at the end of the year is sufficient. Hand made gifts are always a good way to go too.
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