We are constantly reminded of how we are "living in a different time". We remind ourselves about how when we were kids we were able to roam our neighborhoods and play outside without a worry. We tell ourselves that things were much safer back then. But, was it really? Were the dangers still out there back then and we just were not as aware of it?
The older generation likes to tell me that there were not as many kidnappings, the crime was not as bad, and sexual abuse was hardly heard of. I often find myself believing this but when I stop to really think about it I can't help but wonder. I wonder if all of this was just as bad but we just did not know about it without the media that we have today. Today we are able to find out pretty much anything. Take Nancy Grace for instance. She keeps you right up to date with kidnappings and all crimes against children. We didn't have Nancy Grace back in the 1970's. We didn't have the internet at our fingertips to give us all the information we are looking for regarding crime statistics and sex offenders living in our neighborhoods.
According to a study from the Crimes Against Children Research Center, crimes against children and teens have dramatically decreased in the last twenty years. So why is it then that we feel our kids are in so much more danger out there than we were when we were young? Is it just because we are now taking on the role of "parent" and seeing things differently or do you think it is because we now know more than we ever did before about all the bad things that are happening in our world? Do you think that children's crimes truly are worse now or do you think we are just seeing it this way?
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16 opinions:
I think it's a combination of the two. I think that we were more blissfully ignorant back in "the day" and we didn't talk about such things as much.
I often wonder if these sick people who commit these crimes get "ideas" from the media and hearing stories about what OTHER sick people have done? I used to get so upset when my mom would pull her "overprotective" act when I was young, but now I SO understand it. I don't want to let my kids out the door for fear of the crazies that are waiting out there...
Have you heard of Lenore Skenazy, the woman who let her nine year old son ride the NYC subway alone a few years ago? She has a website called http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/
I saw her speak in November about her book and website. We have ecome an alarmist society because of the 24/7 newscycle.
Also, once taboo topics are now in the open. Sex abuse was kept quiet-it always went on, but victims were shamed into silence, thinking it was their own fault.
We know so much more about these topics today.
My own opinion is that with so many parents working outside the home, there is no safety net for kids. Walking home from school was normal for me as a first grader in NYC. There were tons of people, crossing guards, and neighbors looking out for you.
Who is overseeing the kids today? The landscapers? The UPS truck driver? So many of the neighborhood kids go home to empty houses. I think parents fear because, who is going to watch out for them if I am unable to?
I admit letting my older child walk to school alone (with her friends) was a big parenting step for me. But it was the right thing to do.
http://keepitsimplesister-mommymommymommy.blogspot.com/
Good question. I think it's definitely the case of the media - newspapers, television, radio, internet - that keeps people so much more aware and more frequently up to date on crime that makes it feel that way.
I think it's because of the highly publicized kidnappings/murders of the 70s that we're so bent on keeping our children in a bubble. It did happen back then and you're right that the news wasn't as quick to spread as it is today. One thing they didn't have to worry about was the Internet!
I think the proliferation of the media and the internet has put much, much more of it in our faces. It's almost to the point of overload. Really. I think it goes on, for sure, but you almost can't escape it. It's pervasive.
Kat
http://todayscliche.com
As Mandy says, in the past people were either ignorant about a lot of what went on or deliberately turned a blind eye. But it all still happened regardless and then there were not so many resources available to people to help. Take child abuse for example, I lived in Ireland for a long time and so many of the people I know of my generation who went to Catholic school there either experienced some form of abuse at one time or another from a priest or nun, or know that it happened to other children in their class or school. In those days such things were brushed under the rug so to speak. It's not got an awful lot better either (e.g. recent revelations as to what the Pope turned a blind eye to in the past) but now we get to hear more about it.
What we need are better ways to prevent such things happening and better ways to deal with the perpetrators of such crimes i.e. not letting known pedophiles continue to minister to families within the church.
I definitely believe the instance of crimes have decreased, though it seems the heinousness has increased. That is probably a result of just knowing more than we ever did before.
But I think about all the adults with horror stories in their childhoods and it turns my stomach to realize that we, as a people, have never been "safe." The predators were always there, only they used to be more protected and tolerated.
I don't regret that I am constantly on the lookout for a predator (even within my own family), but I'm sure it was nice to feel that false sense of security that previous generations had.
love your blog im following from fff im a fellow monarch mom
hi following from mbc/fff. this is a tough one, certainly people have gotten crazy over all of the infant safety things our moms did not even consider and we lived. at the same time with technology people have a lot more access to our personal info. not to mention i think older kids are a little meaner that we were. here in colorado they are running some pretty brutal commericals about meth but i think they need to send that message.
I agree with Mandy P; it IS a combination of both. Definitely we are much more aware of previously taboo crimes like incest, oth within families and potentially from other people who come across our kids. This tends to make us suspicious and not want to be suckered in by the nice man who unexplainably "just loves kids"...
Then I also think that things HAVE gotten worse. At least it is certainly the case here in new Zealand. 30-odd years ago a murder would be headline news for MONTHS because it was unheard of and totally shocking to us Kiwis. Now it's a daily occurance, and only stays in the headlines if the details are particularly gruesome or shocking.
Perhaps we used to be so isolated down here; now we have access to the world and news at our fingertips. Perhaps that's why we seem to be going the way of the rest of the "big" countries in the world. It's sad. Really sad. I used to travel on buses alone at age 6&7. I wouldn't dream of it for my 7-yr-old. Which is sad. Because our kids grow up with us hovering over them and they don't get to stretch their wings and sicover the wider world without all these safeguards. But I still refuse to have a trampoline with a net. Our 1970's old-school one keeps things interesting for our lot. :)
I think it's how we see it as parents now. But I do think our "issues" to deal with as parents are different and more challenging than the generation before us. Every generation thinks their problems are the hardest, but I really do think ours are very hard! When you look back through your previous posts about the issues confronting kids and parents today - I think we can see that pretty clearly!
I think it's because we DO talk about it with our kids. I think back in those days, adults protected adults,and they didn't talk about anything that 'wasn't nice'. And no one wanted to believe it could happen to them.
I think we are definitely moving forward in our protection of our children, and thank god
Wow. A few days ago, a friend posted a classic Sesame Street cartoon to her Facebook page--"A loaf of bread, a carton of milk, and a stick of butter"--and I'd thought about writing about the same topic. We'd all remarked about how otherworldly it seemed to send a child to a store, in a *gasp!* urban setting, for a few essentials.
I remember hearing about unsafe characters in the news back then, too--I think having more information readily available to us, like the residences of known sexual offenders, has made us far more wary.
I suspect we are just far more aware now than we used to be. I used to jump on my bike (at about six years old) and take off for hours, my mom having no idea where I was... which I, of course, would never do with my kids now. We're just far more aware and hence paranoid (not that we shouldn't be)!
As a parent, I do worry about my kids. But I remind myself that I walked to school, sometimes alone, and for more than six blocks, and I survived. So can my kids. I have to release the reins a little bit and let the kids have some freedom to explore and experiment, and LEARN. That's not to say I don't lecture them about abuse, etc. They get periodic reminders. When I was a kid in the 1970s, sexual abuse was not as widely publicized as it is now. We had one talk, in 4th grade, from a police officer who explained that the bad guys don't always wear black and they're often people we know. That was it. I believe that "back in the day," sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, etc., were not publicized because people just didn't talk about those things then. Women "then" had fewer options for self-support for self and family and were less likely to leave an abusive spouse. Children were more likely to be accused of lying or told to be quiet if they said the priest/teacher/uncle/grandpa/whoever touched them. No one was open about alcoholism or other drug abuse. Our society was a lot more straight-laced about that stuff. Now, we have 24-hour news channels, more frequent news updates on other channels,all sorts of print media, talk shows - nothing is taboo. We are bombarded with information and warnings on "how to keep your child safe, tonight at 11." We feel compelled to watch just in case there is something new we just HAVE to know. If you want a good book about child safety, I recommend the "Street Smarts for Kids" book by Detective Rick Bentz & Christine Allison. THe book gives age-appropriate info. for each age group, and it's common-sense stuff like what to do if you get separated while shopping, for instance - ground rules like always check with parent for permission to go somewhere with someone else, etc.
I think it's all about balance. Warn your children. Be alert. Watch for any signs, etc. BUT - still allow the children to ride bikes, go places - age appropriate things. Always vigilance - but with common sense.
"According to a study from the Crimes Against Children Research Center, crimes against children and teens have dramatically decreased in the last twenty years." Maybe the reason for that is because we are more aware of the dangers and are more protective over our children. I too was a pretty independant child, even going to the city on my own every weekend at the age of just 11 and I would never dream of letting my 11yr old on a train by herself now. Maybe that is why crimes against children have dropped - less opportunity?
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