Any mom of a little boy has been there. You are out in public and your son has to go real bad. What do you do? Of course you take him into the ladies room. And, of course there are those people in there who stare at you and your son in a strange kind of way. "What, you have never seen a boy before?!"
Sometimes I just don't get people. What would they rather you do, go into the mens room with him? All I can say is thank god places like Target decided to make a 'family restroom'. What were they waiting for!
My question is, how old is too old to bring your son into the ladies room? At some point it really does just get too weird. Obviously my son at 12 no longer makes his way into the ladies room! But I am not sure if nine or even ten is old enough to go into a public mens room alone either? The paranoid part of me thinks about all those creepy stories about weirdos hanging out in mens rooms just waiting for little boys. Okay, yes I have to get a grip, but really!
At what point do you think people should stop taking their boys into the ladies room? And, how do you handle those snide looks from the 'not so understanding' women in the ladies room?
How old is too old to bring your son into a ladies room?
Posted by Dalia (Generation X Mom) Labels: parenting
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18 opinions:
Its soo weird ..I was thinking the same thing saturday... My son(7) asked me if he could go to the bathroom himself..I said no and brought him to the Ladies room... I felt better safe then sorry.. am i crazy??
One of the many reasons I'm glad to have a girl. I think it depends on the venue whether or not the boy could go on their own. I would feel safe waiting outside the men's room in Target but there are lots of places I wouldn't.
Fortunately this is one I can leave to all of you to figure out.
My son is 6.5 and I'm with the better safe than sorry crowd - i don't know what's wrong with people! He's a little boy!!! I'd say go with it until YOU feel he's ready - stopping by from SITS to say hi!
Oh, that is a tough one that I will be facing in years to come. I can't even get my 2.5 year old to go on the potty now! I have no clue... I think I would know when the time came - I just started letting my daughter (who's 9) go to the bathroom by herself!
I am so going to come back and read all of the comments on this because I have no idea! Considering my strong-willed child I guess it will be more up to him than me on this one :-)
All the stalls in the ladies room are closed, what difference does it make? I would just go with it until you're comfortable. Or maybe, if you're thinking it time to send him off, make sure he goes with a guy you trust a few times in public first. Thankfully we're not there yet--but I do LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the family restrooms.
Oh good question! I am glad that most people seem cool with it. I think that family rooms are AWESOME for that reason or even those that are single rooms like some smaller stores may have. But, yep, it's your child and who cares- a little odd stares is better than a possible alternative. I also think if there is a question then just being closer to door, with a timer and attentive would be an alternative to those questionable ages- good post!
My son is 7.5 and still goes into the ladies room with me. As he gets older, that will change.
But not yet.
depends on where you are and the personality of the child. I would say better safe than sorry. Maybe you could let him go by himself if you wait right outside the mens rooms?
Hmmm...good question...I think it depends entirely on the child - when he's mature enough to manage on his own and understands enough about stranger danger to be safe. I have no idea when my sons started going to the men's room on their own. If course, it was easier with the second son - he could go with his older brother!
Sue
My son is 7 and a half... he HATES having to come into the ladies with me. Hates it.
I usually try to avoid a problem by letting him use the disabled toilet, which is unisex and has only one door in.
Depending on where we are, if there's no disabled toilet, I sometimes let him use the mens, but stand outside and call out to him, so if there was a wierdo lurking they'd know his mama was waiting right there.
It's pretty hard to get him to come with me. He's so self conscious about it.
But when he does (if the mensroom looks dodgey) I've never noticed funny looks from people. That's my experience anyway.
x
I was thinking about this too. My son just turned 7 and HATES having to go in the ladies room with me, but I am in the better safe than sorry catagory. There are way to many weirdos out there for me to let him venture in there alone. Besides...he refuses to put the paper down!! SO I need to be there so I am sure his little bum stays germ free =)
I've missed you! I don't know whyt I haven't been over your way more often. Sorry!!
About the whole women's room thing..I think my piece of mind is so much more valuable than someone else's weirdness at having my son in there. Granted, he has to keep his eyes to himself and not draw attention to himself, but I just cannot imagine sending him into a restroom alone right now (my sons are 4 & 5.)
My son is tall for his age, so looks older than he really is. He is now 8, and goes into most mens rooms by himself. At the movies was the first time. I told him holler if anybody bothered him, and then stood in front of the mens room door with my foot wedged in it, me facing outward into the lobby. The clerks gave me funny looks from time to time, but I figured So what - that's my kid in there, and I've seen some of the weirdos who go to the movies (myself included - ha ha ha). He was fine. I would definitley still escort him to the door and stand guard until he's old enough to defend himself if need be. I really like the places that have the "family bathroom" though, because when the kids were very little I didn't have to think about where we'd all "go".
As far as how old is too old - probably ten is too old. They're 4th/5th grade by then, getting a little "wise" - but as someone pointed out, the womens room stalls have doors, so . . .For a locker room, though? We need more "family" locker rooms!
Wow, is there a certain age? I guess that would be individual. I just say trust your gut. If you feel he's not ready, he's not. I'd rather be safe.
I think it depends on the boy's maturity level and temperament just as much as it does his age.
An 11 year old boy in a city an hour east of where I live was molested in a men's bathroom. He was too afraid to call out for help.
My 13 year old son is small for his age (thanks to his short mama), but of course he goes to men's rooms by himself. I've always told him (and my daughter, who's 10) that if anyone messes with them to scream as loud as they can.
My kid is 9 and goes into the men's room, though I hate it.
I give him a pep talk for a good 5 minutes before he goes in. "Don't make eye contact with ANYBODY and make sure you lock the door to your stall - YES YOU MUST USE A STALL - and don't touch anything and make sure you're all zipped up before you come out of the stall and make sure you wash your hands. And don't talk to ANYBODY. Okay?"
It may sound like overkill, but he got freaked out by a too-talkative stranger in the men's bath-house the last time we went camping, so now he repeats it all back to me before heads in.
I always choose family restrooms when they're available, and if we're in a deserted place (like the movie theatre at 10am), I take him on into the women's room.
My son is 7 (almost 8) and I'm just now getting comfortable letting him go to the bathroom....sometimes. He asks to go in the men's now. We're in transition...haha! I actually haven't gotten any weird looks or snide comments (that I noticed), so maybe people are understanding. If I do let him go in the men's, I stand outside the door and if he takes too long, I start knocking. #crazymom
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