Does the simple life really exist anymore? I think it is now more of a cliche than anything else.
Look around, what have we become? Sure, we all love the finer things in life, but has it gone too far? Do we not appreciate what we have and always desire more? Go back a few, well maybe about 50 years. The majority of people didn't have what we have today. The 'rich' person was few and far between. People thought of this person as someone out of reach and their material things as something that only 'rich' people have. Today everyone wants to be that person. So many people want everything. People feel they are entitled to have everything. They are not happy unless they do.
It is everywhere. Greed, desire, want. It is so easy to get caught up in the 'want' way of thinking. The word 'want' and the word 'need' have sort of meshed in the last 20 years. The desire for larger houses, better cars, decorating like in the magazines, and I could go on. Who do we think we are?
Do we really 'need' these things. No. Do we 'want' these things. Yes. I hear people saying things like, 'I need a new quilt for my bed because it doesn't go with the color of the room'. Do you really 'need' a new quilt or do you 'want' a new quilt? Of course you don't need a new one. Not unless you have no other blankets in the house to keep warm! When did we start thinking this way?
With the way the world is today I think a lot of people need to take a step back and rethink. Think about the difference between 'need' and 'want'. This is hard thing for some people to come to terms with. I think the best way is to put yourself in a different place. What if you or your husband or both (whoever makes the money) suddenly lost your job, you are running out of money to pay your bills, you may have to give up your house. This is all too often the story of lots of people these days. Put yourself in that situation. Is that new patio set that important anymore? Do you now look at your house differently? You now want more than ever to just have your house (the way it is). All of a sudden it is such a beautiful house full of memories, something you would do anything to keep. You now don't care about the new furniture you want because it doesn't match perfectly with the curtains or the redoing the kitchen because the cabinets are not the right color.
We have to start thinking about the important things in life and not the materialistic things. People say this all the time, but are they really doing it?
Where am I going with this? Well, how can we teach our kids the value of a dollar and the important things in life if we do not do this ourselves? No wonder kids 'want' the new iPod because the new version is now or the $200 boots because, well just because. What happen to the simple life? Will it ever be back?
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14 opinions:
SO true. Again.
Honestly, your spot-on observations have made your blog one of my absolute favorites. Even if I am scared to read your posts sometimes :)
Many parents have replaced things with time with their kids. They throw money at the problem.
I know many parents who give to their kids without making them work for it.
Media is full of shows featuring celebrity "cribs" their "fabulous life" and more. This never was in the past.
Sure, I would like a nicer car, but will not return to FT work or go into debt for it. I share our fiscal issues with our oldest. I tell my younger children "no" and explain we value other things and put or money away and save it.
Our country is int he mess it is in today due to not having an off button for wants.
Great post!
I'm glad I'm not one of those parents. Probably more out of necessity than want. We just don't have the extra money to provide those things. We all want to give our kids what they want - it's the decision not to that people have to make.
We spent a little over $500 for Christmas last year on our 5 kids. My cousin spent over $1000 on her 1 and 2 year old and broadcasted it on Facebook. I wouldn't spend that much on my kids if I had the money! $500 per kid - per baby?? Obviously it was more for her than for them.
I think you raise such a good point -- where does it end? And the media only helps to perpetuate the problem.
I've been following your site for a little over a week, and this is my first time commenting, but I wanted to say how much I enjoy your site. You always have such interesting and though provoking commentary. Consider me your newest fan!
Amen, sister. I've tried to scale it back and teach my children to value what they already have (in their brains, in their hands, etc) rather than to seek out more more more.
I honestly believe the tides are turning away from such materialistic greed. But, then again, I could be living in a bubble.
I think about this a lot. I do good one day with thinking, "man, I really do have much more than Ill ever need." Then on other days I think,"Man, I wish I had a bigger house, car, etc.?" Always a struggle!
I don't think there's any going back, though I sometimes wish we could!
I know just what you mean about the difference between need and want. We used to have plenty of money, when I was able to work full-time. Now we have less income and HUGE medical bills that eat up our extra cash. The questions you're asking in this post are the ones I've been asking myself...and the answer is often, "No, I don't really need that." I have no idea how our 30-year old couch is still standing!
Years ago, I read a lot of books about "simple living" and it all sounded good to me, but it's hard to put into action in our high-tech, fast-paced world.
I do think we can instill these values in our kids, though, just by putting more priority on spending time together, the outdoors, family, and other non-material things.
Sue
I think about this all of the time because my daughter is so big into "i want i want i want".
So far my example hasn't been taking root, but I do try to draw a contrast between wants and needs. I agonize over purchases and try to have her use her own money.
Still we have more toys than I could have dreamt of as a child. It's a difficult thing because you don't want to deprive them but you don't want to spoil them either.
It is very hard to maintain a nonmaterialistic life when everyone around you is constantly upgrading. It's hard not to want to have all the things that the people around you have. My husband and I have dealt with this for years. When those
"gimme" feelings start to creep up we have to remind ourselves that that is not the way we choose to live our lives. And I'll tell you what. We can sleep at night, because we are not living above our means.
This is a great post Dalia. You are so right. We so quickly mix up wants and needs.
I did that little experiment you suggested in your head - I am so blessed! I have a (lovely, comforatble, leakproof, non-designer) family home. That I own. That we can afford. That is near good schools. Not elite schools. But GOOD schools.
It's in a neighboiurhood where I know and love the people around me.
I have some issues but I'm not dying.
We have our quarrels but my husband loves me.
My kids drive me nuts sometimes, but they are all healthy and strong.
I might not like everything about our government but I am free to have an opinion.
My faith is sometimes shaky but it's gotten me this far.
We aren't printing money but we meet our bills.
I am one of the richest people in the world by this standard.
Thanks for reminding me.
xx
You are so right. I have been trying to teach my kids to be grateful. They have more than I ever had as a kid. Most of it they don't even care about.
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
Great post, as YOU KNOW! I've missed hopping around blogs, esp. yours... don't know if you know, but my Mom passed a few weeks ago and I've been barely surviving, much less visiting my buds !
You know, I've always "wished" things were more like they used to be... but I never thought "would it ever be back" -- meaning, that simple way of thinking...
Maybe it will? LIke a fad? I mean, I just heard Carpenter jeans and overalls are back in? Can some designer just mention it's cool to not care 'bout the Jones' and POOF, it's a new way of life? DUnno....
Hugs, Kat
"Need" and "Want" - two very different things. My grandma lived a very "spartan" life, meaning that she had a home, furnished, food to eat, necessities of life. Her home was comfortable, pleasant to visit - but not full of excessive amounts of stuff. I think were grandma still alive, she'd stare in wonder at all the "stuff" we have, and "need." Need vs. Want is always at war with me when I see people who are on public assistance who have the latest technology in cell phones. One guy who stands in line for free soup and complains about his cable bill. WTF? You have CABLE and you're in line for a free meal? Priorities, people.
What you say is so true! I look at all that my kids and grandkids have, and I wonder sometimes if I went wrong somewhere. I was a single mom for a spell; No way would my 3 year old son have ever had a $350 ATV!
Even if I could have afforded it, I think that is excessive. Your post has way too much truth in it!
Just stopped by from SITS to say hi; hope you wil do the same.
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